Shenannigans
by tinyshoopuf
Summary: A series of humorous snippets
1. Crossdressers

"You really don't find me pretending to be a guy odd?"

"Princess, I was raised by a tree in a village full of immortal children. I find everything in the grown up world of Hyrule odd. So, I just assumed it was a normal thing to do."

"Fair enough."

"...so, wait, does that mean it _would_ be weird for me to try on one of your pretty dresses?"

* * *

Hi, I'm new to this


	2. Carrots

Midna had been a bad influence.

Nobody except Zelda knew it, of course. To the court, Link was the Queen's silent companion, only occasionally offering his thoughts through a series of magical hand gestures. When conversing with dignitaries and court officials, he was courteous and humble, endearing him to most of the peers of the realm. Only Zelda got to see what he held back.

He was a sarcastic little shit.

Not that he wasn't truly courteous and humble. His quest (and companion) had just left him with far less patience for the inane political dances the court engaged in. Which, if Zelda was to be honest with herself, was what kept her grounded and sane.

Dinner that night was fairly low key as dinners at the castle went. Simply a gathering of the important nobility who were currently residing in the castle around platters of roast, potatoes, and carrots. On her right was her guest of honor: a young knight whom had engaged in a rather dicey battle with a moblin a few nights past. It had been a heroic deed, one she greatly appreciated. His clothes, on the other hand, she did not. In fact, they gave her a headache. He wore outlandish silks in bright colors, no doubt in an attempt to impress her, and one gaudy hoop earring the size of her fist.

She stole a glance to her left, where Link sat. He was eyeing the earring, the barest hint of a grin on his lips. She caught his eye and raised an eyebrow questioningly as the young knight paused in his tale to dig into his meal with gusto. Link smiled just a tad wider, fingers twitching against his cheek where he'd been resting his chin in his hand.

 _Wanna see if I can get a carrot through that earring? Five points if I make it, fifteen if he doesn't notice_.

The beauty of magical sign language was how subtle it could be. Nobody, save for Zelda, even knew he had spoken. Her eyes flickered back to the knight as he began his account again. Sometime between his exhausted report to the captain of the guard and this moment the story had acquired two stray bulbins, a flock of orphans cowering in fear, and a brilliant tactical move on his part that certainly had not been in her initial briefing.

Turning back to Link, she gave an almost imperceptible shake of the head, no.

The knight finished his meal with an unsightly belch and a deep swig of his goblet that earned him a few disgusted looks from the rest of the assemblage. His silken sleeves caught the light and threw it back at her as he shuffled around to wipe his mouth. Goddesses, but that shirt was an eyesore.

Link caught her eye. Her mouth had said no. Her eyebrows said 'Fifty points if it's a whole carrot'.

Midna had been a bad influence.


	3. Common Sense

" _Is he going to be okay?"_

It had taken Midna a little while to get used to the voice in her head, but by the time they'd cleared the Arbiter's Keep she no longer flinched when Zelda spoke up. Apparently, transmitting one's essence into another to keep them from burning in the daylight also meant transmitting one's consciousness as well. If Midna had thought her little imp body too confining for just herself, she now felt downright claustrophobic.

She sighed.

" _What do you think, Princess?"_

She could feel an eye roll, but she couldn't tell if she or Zelda had initiated it. A distinct drawback to this whole situation, they were starting to blend together.

" _Midna. Did he just…?"_

" _Walk under water? Yes."_

" _And did he have…?"_

" _His lantern out? I believe so."_

" _I think he needs a break."_

" _I think you're right."_

Midna materialized as the Hero climbed the bank of the waterfall basin and looked down at his now extinguished lamp with chagrin and a little embarrassment.

"Link, I think the pressure's gotten to you, why don't we go back to your village for a day or so and you can sit with your goats and regain your common sense?"

He narrowed his eyes at her before shaking his head, turning his attention back to the Mother and Child rocks. He'd been trying to catch a reekfish for the better part of the day and night had finally fallen and with it a blanket of darkness that was making his task even _more_ difficult.

"Link, you can't see what you're doing anyway. Be a good boy and go home for a bit. If you're so impatient, I can warp you back here the minute the sun is up and you can try again."

He glared at the water for a moment before sighing and allowing her to turn him into a wolf and whisk him away to Ordon. Midna smiled at his obedience, though she thought he could use a little more training.

" _Shush, Midna, he's doing his best."_


End file.
